struggle in life

Life moves so fast, and we’re so distracted, that sometimes we just need to slow down, feel, think and just be. As a kid from a mediocre family, enormous dreams and high hope. In the dwell of civilization and revolution, I also wanted to become someone who could be looked upon. Seeing my parents work day and night to sustain the family, to provide with necessities and to thrive. I often asked myself, why are we so hard on ourselves? 

Dates back to the year 2013 when I used to study in class 12. With much hindrance to achieve the goals in life, with bags full of books. Time flies by prompt, and the whole year was put up to be assessed by an exam. My life long education came to the test, 3 hours down to me. Later on after everything, all the hard work I did, all the time i took, the result came and I saw I couldn't do well. It was like an end to what all I have thought, dreamed and drew in my mind about my future. It was after then I started to feel like nothing was going good, I was not worth into achieving my goals. I used to stay alone, isolated myself from friends and family' with the guilt that I couldn't come up to their expectations. People poked me, they talked about me and I was like a puppet among men.

On the contrary only parents know their children, my parents noticed my changes in behavior over the passing time, they came to me and console me. My dad told me son, life is never as easy as it seems to be. Hard work always pays off, in one way or the other. Make the familiar unfamiliar and see son. A man shall never be broken if he is determined to do what he wants to. Never consider yourself less than the other person. If they can, you can too. Don't listen to what the people say instead make an effort to achieve your goals, he said and after listening to what my dad told me and seeing hope in both of their eyes for me, my heart sparkled and I saw the hight of hope bright enough to grow my wings back and fly again. I learnt to struggle and come back from it. 

I believe everyone has fall in life, but one should always know how to rise up. Life is not a bed of roses, consequently when u fall, you should know how to hold on those thorns and rise again. I believe that the struggle we are going through today is the strength you will have to survive tomorrow. 

Mid-night label

Warm n cosy bed, shadows on the wall

Window open and breeze crackle in

I gaze at the light, up on the top

I wish u were here with me

All the fuss and tantrums of your

The cigarette we ligh and fight till we share,

The touch of ur hand till the warmth i feel

I wish u were here with me

The cuddle I miss, when being with you

The baby I turn till the time I see you,

The wide open eyes, that waits to see you

I wish you were here with me

No Matter how far till the next time I see you,

Just remember what I wish for you

And never fear for what is to be true, 

Just remember, I love you

drained

For you have lost the rose I used to be

As today I am like the door with no key

For I can be someone else in every second

And deceive it like a clown in a deadened

Stop saying that  you know me from who I was, 

And stop saying that I had no flaws

For I was someone with emotion in claws

And now I am left without any of my paws

Life has taught me to close my eyes and

To trust something that can even be a lie

And to unseen the truth as it is,

For you will be thrown apart in aquiz

Now Stop seeing me the way I was

And start to see how I will be in a pause

For we may cross the path in life

And you will see me back with my wife.

Learn to move-on and not to burn

For u have lost and got nothing to earn

But see me rise from your balcony's door

As I move alongside with a  roar

As Everything will fall out of place

Under the pillow Out of the race

With drops of tears rolling down your face

And someone not having to gaze..

Bikash Nirola

year 2020

What and how do you feel when I say the year 2020??

Well it's a big question mark isn't it? Well everyone knows how the year 2020 was and how everyone of us have dealt with it. We know what we wished at the end of 2019 and from the beginning of 2020 how it turned out to be. 

2020 as it is, I have seen families Begin separated. I have seen an individual loosing their legs, hands and their priorities. I have seen a mother cry over her lost babe, a father carrying his son's death body, I have seen dreams being shattered all over the floor, while the eyes still dream of fulfilling it. I have seen people cry over food, over to thrive and to survive. I have seen and I have felt how cruel it was for the mankind. 

Coffins became your house, ventilator became ur oxygen supply, where the ground of temple were left empty with hopes all seen. Where everyone and everything was kept still and only imagination and thoughts moved. 

People have suffered more that what they deserve. Like captured bired in a cage and a monkey in a zoo, we were made to thrive for freedom and survival. 

All I wish for 2021 is a healthy and blessed year where no one dies of a bad health and illnes and hunger. Where everyone gets meal on time and everything is back as is used to be. We deserve things better then this. God bless us all.

think about

Nothing'new though. I was coming out of the hospital as my duty got over and I happen to see a group of people gathered nearby a distance. I was confused as to what these people are doing there. I went close to see it. Hence then they were packing a dead body, the cascade was next to the body and a girl nearby her Early 30's, crying at a distance. I took my steps backwork, took a lean on the side wall and started thinking..

Life is 3 step journey, firstly your born then secondly you live ur life and thirdly you die. Among these three plases of life when you born u cry and everyone laughs, cheers and celebrate for you. Secondly when u live people will laugh at u, then you will cry for plent of reasons by your own , you go through hell lot of ups and downs then finally you are silent, you don't utter a word, your chest stops recoiling and you no longer breath. the PQRST wave on an ECG machine goes flat then people will cry for you. You will get your recognisation, people will talk how grate a person you're and all the things.

Why to appreciate a person when he's no more?? Why look up to the flaws when a person is no more?? Because what he is and now he's no more, it's all gone with him. Moaning last for few days or max a month. You are a forgotten soul henceforth. All that remains is a photo frame hanging on the wall with the spider web. That your value.

People would be there, surrounding you at every moment of ur life but the thing is how many of them will remain?? Its so easy to identify, at the end they will pack u up, wrape you around on piece of cloth, if ur Christian then they'll put u in Cascade and burry you if of other then you will get burned into ashes. Then where is ur idendity??? One cannot go with the ashes and say this is Mr. X or whatever it is.

Leave behind your pride, leave behind your ego, there is nothing kept it in. If people are staying happy, let them stay happy just don't create disharmony among them. Ultimately u will be turning into ashes and ashes with such quality doesn't get adjusted anywhere.

So by the time I was lost in my thought, the body was all sealed and was loaded on the car to be taken. I quickly rushed to the girl and I asked, was he ur father?? Yes, a very low sounding voice spoke up. I hope his soul would get the grace on heaven. And I made my way out..

Rough roads ahead

Incomplete feelings

Compromising and sacrifices

I may not be there the next moment

I miss you and I love you still

Stranger's we will be soon

But Stay with me, 

You are no less then the drug to me

Like the flower that dies

when the sun hides 

And survives 

When it feels life

Be my Sunshine and let me live

Lets heal and love ourselves

Not being selfish 

And surviving till the end.

what if

My heart is scared

My lips are stitched

My Nights are still 

What about those dream which got broken?

What about the person that got lost?

Will my wish ever get fulfilled?

You got no falws in yourself

You are just having a badday, 

let it go...

Let it go, what is no more there

The one who went is already gone

You got no flaws in urself ❤️

I have been friend with the darkness

Forgot the essence of light

And lost in the thoughts within

I have been broken from inside

Tried to smile but forgot the curves

And getting stucked on the scars formed

I tried to move on 

But scared of the truth

If the slight of happiness would fade

And would go forever from you

Bikash_cobra